Me too…Ed?…buddy?…are you out there? When I left DCCF this morning Ben was just giving you some more form “correction” so I’m a little worried about you…did you make it? Can you lift your arms high and long enough to type a few words?
Sorry it took so long, but it has been a LOOONNNGG morning.
Let me start today’s word of inspiration and demotovation with the FIRST thing I heard upon walking in to DCCF this morning from Ben- (even before I turned the corner to sign in to realize it was just me and D…where were you!):
QUOTE: “…yeah I was wondering the same thing, my hand cramped up just writing it on the board…”
“What? Holy Hell what is he talking about…” I said to myself: “Don’t look up, sign in, maybe whatever he is talking about is the Game Prep, or a special workout of the day designed for someone else, or…Noooooo you looked up…you idiot, now he knows you know and it is too late to fake a sore hammie, hernia or a flair up of hemorrhoids*- WHY DIDN’T YOU WALK IN LIMPING YOU IDIOT- have you learned nothing from years of YMCA trainers and their ‘clients’?!”
But there it was in all it’s painful glory, the WOD (Spoiler alert for those of you who slept in):
5 EA: Lunge, Dip, SITUP, Back Ext, Wall Balls, 100 singles, 5 hang squat Clean, Pull up, 10 Double Unders, REPEAT x2) F- me…
And then the bad news- This was the warm-up.
“You freaking kidding me!”
Personal note: We normally listen to some rock station in the AM, and most mornings it is cool, but when I saw the ACTUAL WOD and heard a John Fogerty song followed by a Bon Jovi tune, I knew I was in danger of motivational failure before I started. But I tried. I begrudgingly, cantankerously, did the warm up, then went to my car for my IPOD and sparked up my WOD playlist that I listen to on the way to the gym, and while I take my 1st Grader to school. Not to sound to hip or cool to you young’uns, but I ROCK the Jonas Brothers! Nothing gets my heart pumping like Miley, in the AM, except for the musical finale of High School Musical: “We are all in this together” should be our theme song…it’s peppy, upbeat, easy to dance to if you are an uncoordinated white dude**
For time (With comments):
- 25 Walking lunge steps (donno know if this for you, but I know how far it is from the junk crusher to 25 and 50 walking lunges- this way, when I loose count (which I do) I can’t cheat myself out of reps because I am tired…)
- 20 Pull-ups (Green for WU and first 8 or so of WOD then added blue to ensure a clean pull)
- 50 Box jumps, 18 inch box (uhuhuhuhu….bevis)- I go for 20, then in sets of 10- it beats missing short and slamming your shins into the side).
- 20 Double-unders: Finally figured this thing out, but holy shit, the plastic rope hurts like hell as it slaps against my shins like a whip…
- 25 Ring dips- hahahahahahahahhaa…yeah right. Ben told me to do regular dips, because he knows I suck at rings, but, out of spite, I knocked out 4 (not at all pretty, but fun, then added a blue band for about another 7, and man were my arms shaking- talk about no control and weak supporting role players- Michael J Fox on a treadmill in an earthquake shakes less than I did (I know, I know…) …ended up on the bars using a blue band. Kinda lost count- I may have blacked out, but being a Male, my body continues to do the last thing it was instructed until it receives new instruction, which in this case was: bu.. bur…burp…hey you idiot- get in the game- your arms and chest are on fire and you are about to make a mess…and remember what KAT did to the puppy for peeing on the floor yesterday, imagine what Ben will do to you! So I stopped.
- 20 Knees to elbows- Yeah right. I got 8 (which is 7 more than I could do a month ago when I joined) and finished them on the mat and added a few extra because I want to see my abs again…
- 30 Kettlebell swings, – weeeeee! Appearantly the only way to do this correctly is to nearly hit yourself on the ass as the kettle has a lot of momentium, which, strangely, didn’t bother me as much as it should have…ohhh where was I… OK.
- 30 Sit-ups- weeeeeeeeaaaarrrhhhhhhhhhhh
- 20 Hang squat cleans, 35 pound dumbbells- Started out with 35, did about 4, thought 35 was too ambitious, switched to 20 (I think- they were pink) did a few more only to be corrected that I was doing the wrong exercise (I was doing the dumbbell snatch), so I went back to 35 and did the right exercise starting from zero.
- 25 Junk Crushers
- 3 Rope climb ascents or 30 pullups- I am dying to climb the rope, but have I suffer from ‘jackassitus’- fear of looking like a jackass as I slide down the rope screaming like 3rd grade girl…so I did pull-ups- Started Green, then added blue to complete them.
My time was an impressive 31:51 and I again rule my weight and age class! (Thank you Ben for not letting me slack off, or I still might be there)
Then I went to the black mat and collapsed. D had left, and it was just me and Ben and my Hamstrings. So since I want him no where my hammies- I got the ‘Ben Stretch’ once and nearly crapped myself with pain- I grabbed a blue band and began the self torture of stretching myself (stretching, myself…by myself? I donno) until my hammies felt like the rest of me: worked the f out.
Ben keeps telling me to use the rubber ball: but that thing just scares the shit out of me.
Till tomorrow…
Eddie
PS- In my defense, I do go back at night for a second workout where I try to pick a movement, or body part and try to master the movements. Last night was 5×5 squats, 30 inch box jumps and 100 to 400 meter runs depending on who is out side running- so don’t think that I am only sore from the morning workouts…
AUTHORS NOTES-
* No I don’t have them, but funny is funny…
** I am not. Well, I am a white dude but I got mad dance skills…kicked my 13yr olds ass at Dance Dance Revolution…her and her nine punk assed 8th grade friends at her last birthday party. Slammed a few Bombays and tonics at Incredible Dave’s then went over and laid the beat down old school! In fact, they were soo beaten down one cried because she couldn’t handle the trash talking! Beyotch please…if you can’t get the steps down, then don’t step up on the game! In fact, none of them have the guts to so much as call my daughter for fear I’ll answer the phone and lay another trash.. talking…. session…… on…….them…..oh wait.…wait…aw no. Now that I think about it, I may owe my daughter an apology for ruining her life…
Ed,
I just wanted to let you know I cried, I was laughing so hard reading this one. Keep up the great work in the gym and the great reads for all of us to enjoy. I have to admit I checked my email 3 times today waiting to read what you had to say.
Ed, I know the Ben stretch. I’ve had laser hair removal on parts Ben has never seen and he is capable of inflicting that much pain.
I will try to come early next week to work out with you and Darienne.
091002
CFWU
Then, starting with 95lbs, on the minute for as many minutes performed 5 OHS and added 10 lbs per minute.
95, 105, 115, 125, 135, 145, 155, 165(f).
15 Man-Makers w/ 40lb dumbbell… got bored
Team WOD:
75 Walking lunge steps
60 Pull-ups
150 Box jumps, 20 inch box
60 Double-unders
75 Ring dips
60 Knees to elbows
90 Kettlebell swings, 2 pood
90 Sit-ups
60 Hang squat cleans, 35 pound dumbells
75 Back extensions
90 Wall ball shots, 20 pound ball
9 Rope climb ascents
Shane, Andrew, and I came in 1st place by 30 seconds.
Finally, ended with 15 Squat Cleans at 135lbs for practice
i know its late/early, but I’m still waiting for Ed’s post of the day.
come on…….come on……..
Me too…Ed?…buddy?…are you out there? When I left DCCF this morning Ben was just giving you some more form “correction” so I’m a little worried about you…did you make it? Can you lift your arms high and long enough to type a few words?
Sorry it took so long, but it has been a LOOONNNGG morning.
Let me start today’s word of inspiration and demotovation with the FIRST thing I heard upon walking in to DCCF this morning from Ben- (even before I turned the corner to sign in to realize it was just me and D…where were you!):
QUOTE: “…yeah I was wondering the same thing, my hand cramped up just writing it on the board…”
“What? Holy Hell what is he talking about…” I said to myself: “Don’t look up, sign in, maybe whatever he is talking about is the Game Prep, or a special workout of the day designed for someone else, or…Noooooo you looked up…you idiot, now he knows you know and it is too late to fake a sore hammie, hernia or a flair up of hemorrhoids*- WHY DIDN’T YOU WALK IN LIMPING YOU IDIOT- have you learned nothing from years of YMCA trainers and their ‘clients’?!”
But there it was in all it’s painful glory, the WOD (Spoiler alert for those of you who slept in):
5 EA: Lunge, Dip, SITUP, Back Ext, Wall Balls, 100 singles, 5 hang squat Clean, Pull up, 10 Double Unders, REPEAT x2) F- me…
And then the bad news- This was the warm-up.
“You freaking kidding me!”
Personal note: We normally listen to some rock station in the AM, and most mornings it is cool, but when I saw the ACTUAL WOD and heard a John Fogerty song followed by a Bon Jovi tune, I knew I was in danger of motivational failure before I started. But I tried. I begrudgingly, cantankerously, did the warm up, then went to my car for my IPOD and sparked up my WOD playlist that I listen to on the way to the gym, and while I take my 1st Grader to school. Not to sound to hip or cool to you young’uns, but I ROCK the Jonas Brothers! Nothing gets my heart pumping like Miley, in the AM, except for the musical finale of High School Musical: “We are all in this together” should be our theme song…it’s peppy, upbeat, easy to dance to if you are an uncoordinated white dude**
For time (With comments):
- 25 Walking lunge steps (donno know if this for you, but I know how far it is from the junk crusher to 25 and 50 walking lunges- this way, when I loose count (which I do) I can’t cheat myself out of reps because I am tired…)
- 20 Pull-ups (Green for WU and first 8 or so of WOD then added blue to ensure a clean pull)
- 50 Box jumps, 18 inch box (uhuhuhuhu….bevis)- I go for 20, then in sets of 10- it beats missing short and slamming your shins into the side).
- 20 Double-unders: Finally figured this thing out, but holy shit, the plastic rope hurts like hell as it slaps against my shins like a whip…
- 25 Ring dips- hahahahahahahahhaa…yeah right. Ben told me to do regular dips, because he knows I suck at rings, but, out of spite, I knocked out 4 (not at all pretty, but fun, then added a blue band for about another 7, and man were my arms shaking- talk about no control and weak supporting role players- Michael J Fox on a treadmill in an earthquake shakes less than I did (I know, I know…) …ended up on the bars using a blue band. Kinda lost count- I may have blacked out, but being a Male, my body continues to do the last thing it was instructed until it receives new instruction, which in this case was: bu.. bur…burp…hey you idiot- get in the game- your arms and chest are on fire and you are about to make a mess…and remember what KAT did to the puppy for peeing on the floor yesterday, imagine what Ben will do to you! So I stopped.
- 20 Knees to elbows- Yeah right. I got 8 (which is 7 more than I could do a month ago when I joined) and finished them on the mat and added a few extra because I want to see my abs again…
- 30 Kettlebell swings, – weeeeee! Appearantly the only way to do this correctly is to nearly hit yourself on the ass as the kettle has a lot of momentium, which, strangely, didn’t bother me as much as it should have…ohhh where was I… OK.
- 30 Sit-ups- weeeeeeeeaaaarrrhhhhhhhhhhh
- 20 Hang squat cleans, 35 pound dumbbells- Started out with 35, did about 4, thought 35 was too ambitious, switched to 20 (I think- they were pink) did a few more only to be corrected that I was doing the wrong exercise (I was doing the dumbbell snatch), so I went back to 35 and did the right exercise starting from zero.
- 25 Junk Crushers
- 3 Rope climb ascents or 30 pullups- I am dying to climb the rope, but have I suffer from ‘jackassitus’- fear of looking like a jackass as I slide down the rope screaming like 3rd grade girl…so I did pull-ups- Started Green, then added blue to complete them.
My time was an impressive 31:51 and I again rule my weight and age class! (Thank you Ben for not letting me slack off, or I still might be there)
Then I went to the black mat and collapsed. D had left, and it was just me and Ben and my Hamstrings. So since I want him no where my hammies- I got the ‘Ben Stretch’ once and nearly crapped myself with pain- I grabbed a blue band and began the self torture of stretching myself (stretching, myself…by myself? I donno) until my hammies felt like the rest of me: worked the f out.
Ben keeps telling me to use the rubber ball: but that thing just scares the shit out of me.
Till tomorrow…
Eddie
PS- In my defense, I do go back at night for a second workout where I try to pick a movement, or body part and try to master the movements. Last night was 5×5 squats, 30 inch box jumps and 100 to 400 meter runs depending on who is out side running- so don’t think that I am only sore from the morning workouts…
AUTHORS NOTES-
* No I don’t have them, but funny is funny…
** I am not. Well, I am a white dude but I got mad dance skills…kicked my 13yr olds ass at Dance Dance Revolution…her and her nine punk assed 8th grade friends at her last birthday party. Slammed a few Bombays and tonics at Incredible Dave’s then went over and laid the beat down old school! In fact, they were soo beaten down one cried because she couldn’t handle the trash talking! Beyotch please…if you can’t get the steps down, then don’t step up on the game! In fact, none of them have the guts to so much as call my daughter for fear I’ll answer the phone and lay another trash.. talking…. session…… on…….them…..oh wait.…wait…aw no. Now that I think about it, I may owe my daughter an apology for ruining her life…
Obviously, I did a different workout.
Actually, I mostly spent some time self-inflicting with the rubber ball…you’re right to be scared Ed.
All this and yet Ed never says more than two or three words in the gym. Remarkable.
I’m coming at 6AM one day to meet Ed.
Ed,
I just wanted to let you know I cried, I was laughing so hard reading this one. Keep up the great work in the gym and the great reads for all of us to enjoy. I have to admit I checked my email 3 times today waiting to read what you had to say.
Coach
wow. that was incredible. I have to second Darienne though, they guy is not the chattering type in the gym.
more please!
Ed, I know the Ben stretch. I’ve had laser hair removal on parts Ben has never seen and he is capable of inflicting that much pain.
I will try to come early next week to work out with you and Darienne.
Yay…more early-birds!
091002
CFWU
Then, starting with 95lbs, on the minute for as many minutes performed 5 OHS and added 10 lbs per minute.
95, 105, 115, 125, 135, 145, 155, 165(f).
15 Man-Makers w/ 40lb dumbbell… got bored
Team WOD:
75 Walking lunge steps
60 Pull-ups
150 Box jumps, 20 inch box
60 Double-unders
75 Ring dips
60 Knees to elbows
90 Kettlebell swings, 2 pood
90 Sit-ups
60 Hang squat cleans, 35 pound dumbells
75 Back extensions
90 Wall ball shots, 20 pound ball
9 Rope climb ascents
Shane, Andrew, and I came in 1st place by 30 seconds.
Finally, ended with 15 Squat Cleans at 135lbs for practice
enjoy it while you can.